A Walk to Remember

Help!

Self-pity is not a good thing...

MUST KEEP TELLING MYSELF THAT.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel.

I am satisfied.

I must be satisfied, in the love of my heavenly Prince.

I need to know I haven't given up on romance altogether.

I am focusing on a much more stunning, spiritual, authentic romance!

Just need a little help!

5-year-old

I'm looking at my first school photo...

Gosh I was little.

Can I say I was cute?

But one question lingers...

Why do I have such a lovely golden tan at age five?

New Zealand sun?

Or maybe the fact I wasn't stuck in a ballet studio during daylight hours!

What I miss

So I was sitting on the bus today.

Surrounded by immature school girls.
Sitting next to a nerdy man who sat hunched staring at his book cover.

I felt nostaglic for school. What high school used to be.

I missed my school uniform.

Diagnosis

It appears I have an obsessive personality.

Raisin Toast.
Boy.
Gossip Girl.
Taylor Swift.
Christy Miller books.
Love.

Traces

In my mind I trace you.
Your jaw, your shoulder, your fingers.
You're not here.
I dream of romance, but what would I know about boys, love and grassy fields?
I don't know your name and I don't know your smile.
I try and imagine the shivers you'll give me, I honestly try.
But what do I know about men, passion and secret forests?
I think about the way you'll say me name and that look you'll give when you introduce me to your friends.
You'll be my treasure, and I'll be yours.
Inseparable, hopelessly insane.
But, what would I know about those deep brown eyes?
What would I know about those candlelit dances?
What would I know about a prolonged kiss, a secret kiss, a remembered kiss, a dizzying kiss, a goodbye kiss, a joyous kiss?
I trace you in my imagination.
I lie in my bed, my eyes closed and trace your jaw, your shoulder, your fingers.
What would I know about your boyish hair?
But I trace it anyway.
I trace your mouth, your chest, your heart.
I hold you and forever kiss you in the dark.

Saviour

Jesus, fill me with the entirety of Your passion, hope, longing and love.
I need You here in my life.
I rejoice, for you have rescued my soul.
You are Truth!

Until then...

My Spirit moving with hope,
I wait for you, watching,
staring into the depths of the mirror,
I see myself.
I am beautiful in God's image!
I am made perfect, for I am a daughter of Jesus!
The eyeliner glides over eyelids, and mascara lilts.
All for you... but - nothing.
Nothing is seen, nothing is thought of.
An anticipation in my heart and a beating in my head,
I wait for you in the arms of Christ.
A very precious and comfortable place to wait.
You will fight for me one day, and pursue my love.
Until then, I wait with my Saviour beloved...
Until then, my Prince.

Proclaim

I CHOOSE TO FOLLOW YOU TO THE CROSS, LORD!
YOU COVER ME IN YOUR LOVE, YOUR EMBRACE, EVERY INCH OF ME!
YOU HOLD ME UP AND POUR YOUR GRACE DOWN FROM HEAVEN!
THANK YOU FOR HEALING ME FROM SIN!
YOUR WILL BE DONE IN MY LIFE!
I WILL FOLLOW YOU ALWAYS!